Being alone sucks. It’s scary and not fun in the slightest. My pain in my butt boyfriend has deserted me for ten days for the holidays and took my puppies with him, and now I’m alone. Though it is sort of kind of my fault why he went up to his dad’s so early for Christmas vacation. I got him and his dad an early Christmas gift to a Falcons game. They haven’t been to a game together since he was a little kid so I thought that would be so fun. Stupid me, I was like “Oh it’s fine! You’ll have fun until I can come up on the 24th!” I forgot one teeny, tiny little detail and that is I hate being by myself. It literally freaks me out. He left the 15th, and it has been my own personal hell.
I have had nightmares about being alone in an apartment, and I have seen enough previews of scary movies that show I should never live alone. I refuse to watch scary movies because the few times that I have, I have had night terrors and don’t sleep for a week. So now I’m by myself and can hear every noise in the apartment and everything going on outside freaking myself out.
With it being winter and all now, it gets dark super early literally right as I get off work, so that freaks me out too. So it leaves me quite a bit of time to write in the middle of the night as I am now. Although my BF is always checking up on me making sure that I am okay, I still get freaked and leave a few lights on and have the TV playing, so I don’t keep thinking someone is going to break in here and take everything we own and sell me on the black market. Yeah, overactive imaginations do not help either.
Even when he is here though, I get freaked out slightly. I swear I get paranoid why to often and think of the worst outcome for every situation before I make a decision. Not to be cliché, but I blame my mom. Only because she is literally doing the same thing I do times ten! She wouldn’t let me where red Halloween costumes because was a gang color and she told me that…. when I was eleven. I over think everything, which is not good combined with the overactive imagination. Good for writing, not so good for being alone.
It doesn’t help that our apartment is kind of like a townhouse it has an upstairs too. So as you can imagine I am sleeping in the living with a frying pan next to me. If it worked for Rapunzel, it works for me, and I played tennis, so I think I’ll be okay.
I literally enjoyed my alone time for two days. That’s it. It is now day four, and I am bored and skittish. Though I have to say I have gotten a lot of writing done in my spare time of fear and boredom, so there’s that. I also got all the laundry done, dishes, vacuuming and dusting done. The house stays a lot cleaner without the puppies roaming around everywhere. It smells good too. Not that it smelt terrible before, but it wasn’t always roses and sunshine either.
I have caught up also on a lot of TV shows that I haven’t watched because of football season (can you hear my eyes roll right now?). I’ve caught up on movies too. So some good has come from being alone, but I really do miss those three pains in my ass. Everyone needs alone time, but ten days? Not so much. Not me at least.
Wish me luck to actually getting some sleep! Until next time…