For the past month I have been sending out queries for a literary agent and it has been interesting so far. I have been updating and changing little things for the story for a while, as well as editing so it’s changing. So with each new literary agent I look into I make a note of it, and make sure to send them my updated version of the changes i made to the first chapter they are receiving.
So far I have sent out nine emails to literary agents. I have received three responses back. All rejections.
My sisters say that this is going to strengthen me. That JK Rowling went through twelve rejections before Harry Potter was welcomed in. Heck, The Hunger Games was rejected 60 times! Knowing that is very encouraging, it takes the sting away after you process it, but it doesn’t hep when the email is received and you see the name that appears knowing exactly what the potential could be, but also knowing the alternative. It doesn’t wipe away the anxiety of clicking to open the email, and slowly skimming what it says. It doesn’t change the heart clenching, tear jerking response you get as you read the cold words, in black and white printing letting you down once more.
Some responses are more carefully said, being kind and gentle to let you know that right now they are not looking for this type of project to take on. Other’s, are harsh and lengthy saying they expected more from this description and it wasn’t what they anticipated. And others… others are cut throat and to the point. No ‘dear Ms. Torres’, no greeting, just a quick one sentence response ‘This is not for me, but thank you for the look.’ no cruel words, no hateful critical marks against the work. Just frustrating feeling festering inside you wondering how bad your work really is to only receive a eleven word response to your 95,000+ words of hard work.
I’ve told you all I am dramatic before, correct?
It’s not really horribly affecting me as I am letting on. I understand that not everyone is going to see the potential in my work. I need someone who is really going to believe in my work. I don’t just want anyone, I need someone who can see what I see. Not someone who will change it to what they want it to be. So these rejection emails are good. They need to be happening, so that I know if (or when maybe?) I do get an acceptance email it will be someone who really wants to work with me and who really believes in my story.
I have to remember this in the back of my mind. Have to keep chanting that in the back of my mind so that I don’t let it get to me. It’s not easy, but I have to keep pushing forward. Success doesn’t happen over night. One doesn’t get everything they want over night. I only just decided that I wanted my story out in the world, so I need to give the world a chance to accept it and respond.
Again, it doesn’t make the wait any easier.
One day, I hope I will look back on these emails and smile knowing that each one of them helped me to improve and do better. One day, I hope I will find someone that believes in my story and me completely. One day, I hope this gets easier.
But for now I will take these, and try to take the positive out of them.
Until next time…