Posted in Journal Posts, Posts, Uncategorized

When Did It Happen?

I once didn’t mind his morning breath. Then one day it bothered me.

I used to not mind the smell of cigarettes on him. Then one day I did mind.

When did it happen? When did I start being bothered by the things he did? It didn’t bother me in the beginning of our relationship, so why now? Should that have been my sign that things weren’t working out between us? The same happened for him. He didn’t mind my eating habits, that I didn’t like certain foods, but then out of the blue he minded. He started making comments about me never trying anything new. He started making fun of me in front of others that I was getting “the same old thing”. When did things change between us?

Ever since the split I have been going back over the last four years of my life. As I am sure many people do after a break up. I am the textbook case of an over-thinker. It’s my gift or curse, however you want to look at it. I am also good at losing track of my thoughts, let’s get back in focus.

So my question is, when did the rose colored glasses get knocked off? When did we start being bothered by the others flaws? Does it happen to everyone right away? Even the ones who have made it work? I would like to meet the ones who have made it work. They have looked past their partners flaws and learned to love them unconditionally. Why do most of us have conditions? When do the conditions go away? After too many relationships have worn us down? Until we have given up our original expectations?

Like Rachel Green says on Friends, “Didn’t you think you’d meet someone, fall in love and that would be it?” If only life were that simple. You know, falling in love and poof happily ever after. People did not prepare us for this. Or at least no one in my life prepared me for this. Not movies, not books, not family. No one ever warned me that sometimes things don’t work out. That sometimes it is okay to stop fighting. I learned, of course, some things you just can’t teach. And sometimes you just need to observe everyone around you.

TV shows tell you a but of the truth. I think that’s what started making me realize I needed to leave. TV shows don’t just show you the beginning stages of a relationship or when the two characters finally realize they are meant to be together. Some show you the nitty gritty parts of relationships. The hard parts that not many people want to look at.

Back to my over-examining of this roller-coaster of a relationship. I still wonder when it happened. I probably will never pin point it, but I just wish I knew the moment when it happened, but if I had noticed maybe I would have left sooner. Oh well. I hope that others notice these things sooner rather than later. Good luck out there. It’s not easy figuring out what is right and wrong in a relationship. What is worth staying for. It’s not easy to notice.

Until next time…

Justine

Posted in Journal Posts, Posts, Uncategorized

Why Do We Do It?

How is it that some of the most intelligent and beautiful women let themselves be belittled and used just to feel desired? Why do we allow ourselves to become less so that we can feel wanted? When did we start doing less so that our loved one can feel like more? Why do we do it? Why is the most important thing in the world to be loved? Continue reading “Why Do We Do It?”

Posted in Journal Posts, Posts

We Live for Love

Hello all!

I had an interesting thought today, nothing unique or different. Nothing that hasn’t been spoken, or written, or sung. Of course, it’s about love. As of late, I let go of a love in my life. It hasn’t been easy, and it probably won’t be okay for a while, but I know in my heart I did the right thing. It hasn’t been good between us for a long time, I just had been the one to face it head-on. I took the step that neither of us wanted to take because we had gotten comfortable. But it wasn’t right anymore.  Continue reading “We Live for Love”

Posted in Journal Posts, Posts, Uncategorized

BUMBLE

Hello!

I have some interesting information to share with you all today. Don’t know if it is really something anyone will care for, but here goes nothing.  I have joined an app called Bumble, it is for making friends, dating and business. I am taking part in Bumble BFF addition. Nowadays I am having the hardest time making friends, it’s not the same as it used to be when in school where you can just talk to the person next to you and BAM! Friendship! I was venting to my little sister about it when she made a suggestion for me. Bumble BFF.

Continue reading “BUMBLE”

Posted in Journal Posts

Story Time

Story-time!

I have started writing a book! Not just a book, I started writing a book series!!!! I am so excited about this; I don’t think I have ever been so excited about anything. I have wanted to write books since I was ten years old! I wrote stories all the time as a kid. I lost my way from writing books because I always thought that it wasn’t something realistic. But I have gotten feedback from family and friends, and I got to say they are some of my harshest critics. I think they really like the story plot! They have said so themselves that they love it! I have written out the first five chapters and have already written out the ending of each book (four by the way) I just need to come up with the world of the book. It’s a fantasy book based on a royal family struggling to gain back rule of their kingdom after a man steals it from them.
Continue reading “Story Time”