Posted in Journal Posts, Posts, Uncategorized

When Did It Happen?

I once didn’t mind his morning breath. Then one day it bothered me.

I used to not mind the smell of cigarettes on him. Then one day I did mind.

When did it happen? When did I start being bothered by the things he did? It didn’t bother me in the beginning of our relationship, so why now? Should that have been my sign that things weren’t working out between us? The same happened for him. He didn’t mind my eating habits, that I didn’t like certain foods, but then out of the blue he minded. He started making comments about me never trying anything new. He started making fun of me in front of others that I was getting “the same old thing”. When did things change between us?

Ever since the split I have been going back over the last four years of my life. As I am sure many people do after a break up. I am the textbook case of an over-thinker. It’s my gift or curse, however you want to look at it. I am also good at losing track of my thoughts, let’s get back in focus.

So my question is, when did the rose colored glasses get knocked off? When did we start being bothered by the others flaws? Does it happen to everyone right away? Even the ones who have made it work? I would like to meet the ones who have made it work. They have looked past their partners flaws and learned to love them unconditionally. Why do most of us have conditions? When do the conditions go away? After too many relationships have worn us down? Until we have given up our original expectations?

Like Rachel Green says on Friends, “Didn’t you think you’d meet someone, fall in love and that would be it?” If only life were that simple. You know, falling in love and poof happily ever after. People did not prepare us for this. Or at least no one in my life prepared me for this. Not movies, not books, not family. No one ever warned me that sometimes things don’t work out. That sometimes it is okay to stop fighting. I learned, of course, some things you just can’t teach. And sometimes you just need to observe everyone around you.

TV shows tell you a bit of the truth. I think that’s what started making me realize I needed to leave. TV shows don’t just show you the beginning stages of a relationship or when the two characters finally realize they are meant to be together. Some show you the nitty gritty parts of relationships. The hard parts that not many people want to look at.

Back to my over-examining of this roller-coaster of a relationship. I still wonder when it happened. I probably will never pin point it, but I just wish I knew the moment when it happened, but if I had noticed maybe I would have left sooner. Oh well. I hope that others notice these things sooner rather than later. Good luck out there. It’s not easy figuring out what is right and wrong in a relationship. What is worth staying for. It’s not easy to notice.

Until next time…

Justine

Posted in Journal Posts, Posts

The Stuff that Dreams Are Made of

I have a dream.

Big, huge!

I am going to go to college to get my Masters in Creative Writing. Where I am I going to go? Possibly somewhere in Georgia, possibly somewhere in New York. Where am I hoping to go? NYU. It’s the school I always wanted to go to, but then we moved to Georgia when I was sixteen so I had to change dreams. But now that I am old enough, I want to go for it. I want to try and get that dream back and pursue what I want in life. Continue reading “The Stuff that Dreams Are Made of”

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BUMBLE

Hello!

I have some interesting information to share with you all today. Don’t know if it is really something anyone will care for, but here goes nothing.  I have joined an app called Bumble, it is for making friends, dating and business. I am taking part in Bumble BFF addition. Nowadays I am having the hardest time making friends, it’s not the same as it used to be when in school where you can just talk to the person next to you and BAM! Friendship! I was venting to my little sister about it when she made a suggestion for me. Bumble BFF.

Continue reading “BUMBLE”